Memorable Quotes

Robby: Say, "You poop into my butt hole and I poop into your butt hole... back and forth... forever." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christine Jesperson: [seeing his bandage] Whoa, what happened? Richard Swersey: You want the short version or the long one? Christine Jesperson: The long one. Richard Swersey: I tried to save my life but it didn't work. Christine Jesperson: Wow. What's the short one? Richard Swersey: I burned it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nancy: Macaroni. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christine Jesperson: If you really love me, let's make a vow - right here, together... right now. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael: Ellen broke up with me. Christine Jesperson: What? Why? Michael: She thinks she's gonna die this week. Christine Jesperson: No. Out of everyone at Saint Tod, she is the least likely person to die. Michael: Well, she's usually right. She's been right about everyone else. I lived a whole life with a woman I didn't even really like. We traveled all over the world together. And Ellen and I never even left the grounds. Christine Jesperson: Well, actually I took you to the IMAX that one time. Michael: Yeah, but I wanted to take her to the Mayan ruins in Guatemala. She really wanted to see those. Christine Jesperson: Yeah, that just seems weird that she wouldn't want to be with you- you know, if - her time was coming. Michael: I've long since stopped trying to make people - do things they don't want to do. Christine Jesperson: But she's the love of your life. You're just gonna let her go? Michael: No. She's just - Going. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Swersey: Yeah, the "Ice Land" sign is halfway. It's the halfway point. Christine Jesperson: Ice Land is - It's kind of like that point in a relationship, you know, where you suddenly realize it's not going to last forever. You know, you can see the end in sight. Tyrone Street. Richard Swersey: Yeah, but we're not even there yet. We're still at the good part. We're not even sick of each other yet. Christine Jesperson: I'm not sick of you at all. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Untitled: Are you touching yourself? NightWarrior: [looks down at fingertips touching on edge of desk] Yes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robby: Ask her if she likes baloney. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Swersey: I don't want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet, you know? I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Swersey: You know some kids don't even have one home and now you get to have two. Think about that. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Swersey: We will never touch your foot with our hands. Now i'll tell you what I can do, I can press on the shoe to see if it fits. I can go like this. [presses the toe of the shoe] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christine Jesperson: We have a whole life to live together you fucker, but it can't start until you call. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Swersey: You think you deserve that pain but you don't. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christine Jesperson: I mean, they kind of rub my ankles, but all shoes does that. I have low ankles. Richard Swersey: You think you deserve that pain, but you don't. Christine Jesperson: I don't think I deserve it. Richard Swersey: Well, not consciously maybe. Christine Jesperson: My ankles are just low... Richard Swersey: People think that foot pain is a fact of life, but life is actually better than that. Michael: I'll say. You should get some. Your whole life could be better. Just starting right now. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christine Jesperson: Call me, if you ever feel too old to drive. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Andrew: I would love to believe in a universe where you wake up and don't have to to go to work and you step outside and meet two beautiful 18-year-old sister who are also girlfriends and are also very nice people. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sylvie: You want to be a little bird and get a little worm? Just lie down and peep. Robby: Peep, peep, peep. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christine Jesperson: Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck me! Fuck old people! Fuck children! Fuck peace! Fuck peace... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Swersey: [after taking off the bandage from his hand] It needs air. It needs to do some living. Let's take my hand for a walk. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Andrew: Dude, did you just give her the family discount? Richard Swersey: Yeah. She's my neighbor, and I'm trying to work on my karma. Do you know what karma means? Andrew: Yeah. Richard Swersey: It means that she owes me one. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael: I just wish I had met her 50 years sooner. Christine Jesperson: Yeah. Michael: But then maybe I needed 70 years of life to be ready for a woman like Ellen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heather: But this is better 'cause it won't matter if we mess up. And we'll be together. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peter Swersey: So, do you have anything new in the chest? You know, the hope chest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sylvie: Soup won't be computerized. Housewares Saleswoman: Why's that? Sylvie: It's a liquid. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peter Swersey: I'd live up there if I could, if there was no gravity Sylvie: Yeah, but if you lived up there, all the stuff in my room would fall on you and crush you and you'd die -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christine Jesperson: But she's the love of your life, You're just going to let her go? Michael: No, she's just going... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nancy: Email wouldn't even exist if it weren't for AIDS. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robby: Mom says we have a chore wheel. Richard Swersey: What? Peter Swersey: Nothing. Robby: A chore wheel. You put chores on it and then you can spin it. There's this metal thing and it helps it to spin. It's spinning from the metal.